New Faces in the Orphanage

Today was the first emotionally hard day I've had here. I went to work as normal, but about 30 minutes later 15 new Americans came into the orphanage. One group of students are a part of Buckner, a Christian internship, and the other group was a family that came to Guatemala to volunteer together. After touring the orphanage, the family decided to come back to the nursery and literally took the kids out of my hands. It was hard for me. I knew that I was attached to the kids, but I didn't realize how much! It was just a very interesting situation. None of the new volunteers speak any Spanish at all, not that mine is that great, but it was frustrating that none of them really tried. I could see looks of anxiousness in the other workers faces of not knowing how to handle so many unfamiliar people all at one time and not being able to communicate at all. Another thing that through me off was the mom came and and started saying that a friend of hers should adopt one of the children because she was cute, without knowing that the little girl still has a family here in Guatemala. I was torn as I was thinking which situation would be better, being with family in an orphanage or being adopted into a family that can provide more opportunities.

I'm still not quite sure what was so weird about the day, but it probably boils down to the fact that I didn't feel needed any more. So, it was a hard day because I was emotionally torn between being excited for the kids that there were more hands free to play and take care of the kids, and at the same time feeling useless, like everything I have established with the kids over the past 2 weeks was suddenly snatched away. I was talking to Hannah about my day, and she very helpfully told me that I'm not working in the orphanage to feel needed but to help the kids, which I needed to hear!

So on that note, I was thankful once again to have Paula in the kitchen. I was able to go to the kitchen were I was very much needed to wash all of the dishes, silverware, and cups from breakfast...that's a lot of dishes! I so much enjoy being in the kitchen with her and exchanging smiles. She has so much joy and it is amazing to see her maneuver with ease as she cooks for 80 kids! And...helping in the kitchen really does affect every single child in the orphanage, so that was a helpful reminder as well.

On a lighter note, I was talking to Paula and telling her that we are going to have salsa lessons this week or next and that I wanted to learn how to salsa...later the director came in and started salsa dancing and said that he would teach me...but not today, another day. Paula thought it was really funny. We'll see if he actually keeps his promise. Also, another little boy David saw Helen and my handshake and so we made up a slightly different one...I'm up to 2 secret handshakes!

Tomorrow's another day and I think it will be easier to remind myself of why I am at the orphanage and to be excited about the extra help and attention the kids will get. Hannah and I are headed to the gym, and we got some ingredients to make some chocolate chip cookies later! Yay for a little taste of home. :)